I'm grateful that I knew you and you called me a friend.

I hope this does not upset anyone but I wrote something as today, it is two years since someone I love so much died. It feels like yesterday that you left us. Things don't get easier but they get different, the pain hasn't and I don't think ever will go away.

3 weeks before Luke died, we went on holiday together. He told me that he had done things with me he wouldn't with anyone else because he felt comfortable, like lying on the beach with no top on. At that moment it made me so happy and I felt amazing because someone I loved could be themselves around me and felt the could do anything in my presence. At the time we laughed it off -love you pukey, love you beast.

Most days I wish I could go back to that day, have those 5 minutes back, hug you and tell you that I respected you so much, I was so proud of you and how you were dealing with your mental health issues, loved you with a passion you could only dream of and would have done anything, anything for you. You were my rock in the dark times and I let you down.

It pains me to know, I'll never have a relationship like ours again, I have amazing friends but not the kind of friendship we had. It hurts to know there are people in my life, who will never know you. That you're now just memories in my head and worst of all that you felt you would be happier away from me and everyone in your life. I know wherever you are, you've found peace and one day I'll share with you other precious moments but not for another 50 odd years yet.

I'm grateful that I knew you and you called me a friend. I'm grateful for all the memories you gave me and every single moment we had together which taught me what true friendship meant.

I'll continue to spread that love and your story - I miss you that at times I can't breathe. I love you deeply and always will. You'll always be the light that I'll follow. Love you always Luke

Catherine Young